The Childfree Life

When having it all, means not having kids
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 10:26 am 
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I have read comments by women online that they had kids because they were afraid to miss out on the experience. They see it as one of life's important, meaningful experiences and did not want it to bypass them. I guess I would understand that if it were something you could undo, like a marriage. :lol: It's just a fundamental difference in how they view the world, the same as how they don't see it as a "choice" but more of a natural thing that people are wired to want.

I can be curious at times about what motivates people to spend the best years of their lives focusing on someone else's life. Sometimes I do want to "get it", but only in the same way I want to understand a life choice or religion that's not my own. I find it interesting when these people say they've "tried being CF". In most cases that isn't true. They've been childless, yes, but only with the expectation that a baby is in the future, and every choice they make and everything they do is done with that plan in mind ("we're buying a house so future kid has a yard", "I've stopped drinking so I can try to get pregnant", "We're trying to see the world now before kids come"). That's not "trying" a CF life.

People should just shut up and mind their own business. :lol:


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 09, 2019 6:38 pm 
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For me there is no Fear Of Missing Out with kids. It's on the level of FOMO about never having been to prison - I have none.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2019 5:32 pm 
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I haven't been rollerblading down the south rim of the Grand Canyon, but I can tell it's just not for me.

Yes, I see you have a helmet and knee pads and wrist guards. Nice blades. Carry on, if that's what you want.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2019 3:27 am 
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Joined: Wed Jun 12, 2019 9:25 am
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Location: Scotland
I've never tried bungee jumping but I know it's not for me. Same with any number of other things. That's such a silly thing to say plus I know myself better than other people do so I know I'd be a terrible parent.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2019 10:01 am 
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Joined: Sun Mar 17, 2019 7:59 pm
Posts: 46
I dont need to try sky diving or canyoning to know I won't like it. I know myself well, I know I wont like the daily grind of parenting.

FOMO its such a thing now. It makes life stressful. If you do what you love you aren't missing out.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2019 2:49 am 
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Location: UK
^ Exactly TSP. If I had a kid I would be missing out on so much good stuff. Children are 90% hum drum domestic crap.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2019 8:56 am 
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Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2018 12:45 pm
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And let's be honest, it's not like kids are rare. You're forced to interact with them every day whether you want to or not, so you get ample opportunity to decide if you like them or not.

Plus all these people forget that you spent many years being a child, and you know first hand the sort of stuff you used to pull on your own parents ...

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2019 11:07 pm 
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How do we know we don’t want kids if we haven’t tried it?

I’m the eldest daughter of a big old traditional Catholic family of EIGHT children. My husband is the fifth of a big old even more traditional Catholic family of seven children.

Suffice to say we have both tried parenthood about as closely as possible without having any ourselves, and we both know what a bad idea it would be for us to have kids. We would hit them. Probably a lot.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2019 9:34 am 
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Location: San Diego, CA
For me it was the 8 year age difference between myself and my younger sister. Not only was I often the unpaid babysitter but I got to witness firsthand all the crap my parents went through.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 29, 2019 12:40 pm 
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Joined: Tue Aug 28, 2018 11:34 am
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Funny, LadyPhoenix...I was the youngest and still learned it was a bad deal. I watched my parents dealing with my brother when he was at the testosterone-soaked nadir of adolescence and thought, "I don't ever wanna do that". Brother is a nice, functional adult now but DAMN.


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