The Childfree Life

When having it all, means not having kids
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2019 2:52 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
....then why not simply reduce my sex drive to near-zero levels?
Go for chemical castration then, problem solved.
Why chemical castration?


Last edited by LaTormenta on Sat Mar 23, 2019 1:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
Fixed quote tags


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2019 3:04 pm 
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@Rowan: I strongly doubt that I am the only person who finds the effects of aging to reduce one's attractiveness. Also, I hate to break it to you, but I am attracted to women being potentially fertile. I do want them to take extremely strong precautions against unplanned pregnancy (up to the point of getting a bilateral salpingectomy--which would be really, really nice if they'll get it done), but as long as they keep their ovaries, things are going to be fine. I'm sure that you're going to relentlessly hammer me for allegedly objectifying women, but I don't actually have any control over what exactly I am attracted to. And Yes, the effects of aging are a turn-off--though as I said, I do find some post-menopausal women to be attractive (just less so than pre-menopausal women--or at least a lot of them).

As for marriage excluding other partners, people have the right to set whatever rules for their marriage that they want. Anyway, for me, as a result of me not being able to have sex for an extremely long time (due to sterilization concerns), I want to keep all of my sexual options open even if/after I will marry. Someone who lost their virginity at age 15 might have already had a lot of sex by my age (26) and thus might feel more comfortable with a closed marriage. This certainly isn't me, though. After my future wife will hit menopause (as well as before she will hit menopause), Yes, I am going to want to have sex with other, pre-menopausal women as well as with my post-menopausal wife.

Also, to clarify--I don't want my future female sexual partners to remove their ovaries--just their Fallopian tubes. (Though, if they want to remove their uteruses as well, more power to them!) Plus, even on this, I am going to be willing to compromise for women who I'm not going to want as my wife. (I would have been willing to compromise with my future wife as well in regards to this, but there's the risk of other men impregnating her due to the whole open marriage thing and I really, really don't want to be forced to pay child support for these other men's children.)

In addition, in regards to my fear of unplanned pregnancy, my fear is no less irrational than that of a cisgender woman who want a bilateral salpingectomy instead of a tubal ligation due to the much higher failure rate of tubal ligations. As for my willingness to engage in self-harm, well, I'm certainly not the only person who has ever engaged in self-harm or who is willing to do so in the future. Some people have cut themselves and yet are nevertheless able to find sexual partners and spouses later on. Also, I want to get a bilateral epididymectomy as well as to seek out sexual partners who are taking their own strong precautions against unplanned pregnancy in order to reduce the risk of me resorting to self-harm in the future--which is a good thing since it means that I have an active desire to avoid a situation where I will begin cutting myself once again.


Last edited by Cali on Fri Mar 22, 2019 3:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2019 3:07 pm 
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Well, good luck with all that, I guess.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2019 3:08 pm 
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Thanks, I guess. :)


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2019 3:19 pm 
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I think your long winded completely insane sounding ramblings only prove my point.

I’m done here. Good luck finding this mystical woman that meets this very very tiny range of criteria and ALSO happens to want you. You seem to really count on things statistically close to zero actually happening so who knows maybe it’ll work out for you. To me this is sounding exceedingly spammy now.

-Rowan


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2019 3:38 pm 
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I am just gobsmacked and really not sure what to make of all this. If this is a joke than hats off to you Cali for being able to have kept it up for so many months on 2 forums.

Out of curiosity:
have you had a relationship / sexual partner in the past and how did that pan out? What were her thoughts on your uber strict criteria?

as for postmenopausal women being less attractive:
neither gender escapes the ravages of time unscathed and there is nothing wrong with that either. People manage to continue to have sex into ripe old age and quite a percentage of them still enjoy a full filling and passionate sex life. If anything else: sex gets better as you get older for a lot of women (and men).


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2019 7:05 pm 
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^^^ Yep. You have to love how dudes "don't want an old woman" but think that they can continue to pull hot 20-somethings until they keel over. That only works if you're loaded, and sometimes not even then.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 22, 2019 7:44 pm 
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^^^ I have to admit to always having a preference for "women of a certain age." It's not that 20-somethings are unattractive to me, I just generally find older women *more* attractive, all else being equal.

Who knows? Maybe buried deep in my psyche is the idea that a potential night spent with this 25yo versus that 55yo would be more likely to result in an accidental pregnancy. Fertility is *not* a turn-on! :lol:

Of course, now I'm a "man of a certain age," so I guess I'm finally catching up to my preferences (not that it matters, being married!). :)

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 23, 2019 12:52 am 
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Mr LaT also prefers 'women of a certain age', he was positively giddy when I turned 50, I better have my running shoes ready for my 60th!! :lol:

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PostPosted: Wed May 15, 2019 10:22 am 
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I'm hearing that a lot these days. People saying "I wish I had had that option". What is with that? I mean, I don't want to skydive. I'm terrified of it. I have the option to NOT do it. And therefore, I will exercise that option. I just could not fathom myself, in a plane, with the door open, parachute strapped to my back, looking down and saying "I wish I had had the option not to do this". I just don't get why people see reproduction as absolutely mandatory and they have no choice in the matter. I mean, do they think that they will be apprehended and jailed, or worse yet, executed if they don't breed? Do they think that they are under contract? It's sad. I heard one story the other day that just made me drop my head. A strong, capable, hardcore feminist, independent woman, who had ZERO desire to have children eventually broke down....and had children. Three of them. She did NOT have a change of heart either. She just gave in to societal pressures. Just heartbreaking


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