I can probably burp out 3500 calories.
A Papa Johns pizza is $8. I suggest you look into that
I think your trainer is Dr. Nick from the Simpsons:
Dr. Nick: “Now, there are many options available for dangerously underweight individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow, steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology.”
Dr. Nick: You'll want to focus on the neglected food groups. Such as the Whipped group, the congealed group and the chocotastic.
Homer: What can I do to speed the whole thing up, doctor?
Dr. Nick: Well, be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use Pop Tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.
Bart: You could brush your teeth with milkshakes.
Dr. Nick: Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?
Dr. Nick: And remember, if you’re not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it’s your window to weight gain!
BTW, I'm posting this from McD's.