The Childfree Life

When having it all, means not having kids
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:36 am 
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Yeah, sure, there are the obvious ones, like the constant expense, the screaming, the responsibility, but every so often, a reason I never really thought about pops up and smacks me in the face.

Talking with a family member, older than me (and I'm 52) and the topic turned to bucket list travel:

THEM: I'm not getting any younger! I want to go to Amsterdam, and Paris! And Italy!

ME: Yeah, those are all nice. We were in Amsterdam several years ago for about five days. So pretty! Paris...kind of meh for us, but we're glad we went. Same with Italy, though the Roman history is really cool.

T: Really, though, I'd loooove to go to Africa. Nothing too out-there, but the pictures I see...I go online all the time, just dreaming about it.

M: Well, MrsCO can set it all up for you. She'd even go with you if you wanted her to. She wants to go to Africa, but I don't. Nothing stopping you but money and time.

T: And the kids.

M: Geez, they're in their 30's, and married, and they live out of state. I think they'll be fine.

T: Well, really, the grandkids. All my vacation time, I go and visit them, or they come and see me. You know, that's what Mom and Dad did for us, every vacation was to see family.

M: Yup...

The wife and I, we're going to Ireland in a couple of weeks, and England in November, and we're already planning a Paris/Normandy trip next year, and a big 30th anniversary mega-trip in 2020. No spending our time looking a do-nothing babies, then screaming toddlers, then obnoxious teens for the next 20 years for us.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2018 10:48 am 
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I do wonder why some (most) people are so uncommitted to their own lives. You live your four score years and it seems 3 score of them are just devoted to creating, feeding, clothing, watering, educating etc etc others .....and your own life, your dreams, ambitions, interests just disappear in a puff of baby farts.

I think of my own mother, she had her first at 21 then another 5, she was in her fifties before the youngest was independent by which time the grand-kids had come along and she was babysitting them into her late 70s. She then died at 82, to my mind she had a grand total of about 4 years to have her own life.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:39 am 
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The thought of all that mess, and chaos, and having to endure things that kids like, their books and games and cartoons, and screechy friends, and playdates - aaargh! No way!


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:40 am 
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I was at the pet store yesterday to buy food for the kitties and there was this little girl there who was maybe 5 and just whiny as hell. It did my head in.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2018 12:43 pm 
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^^^ I had that yesterday. Kid in front of me in a shopping cart was crying and bouncing, flapping her stupid little hands, and I looked at her with disgust, and her mom looked back with that kind of weird pleading look on her face, that mix of sorry and please kill me.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2018 5:33 am 
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Mr. CFinNY's coworker has a child who is "autistic". I use the quotes because another person he works with has a child who is honestly on the spectrum, and that coworker "differentiates between a brat and autism". Anyway the parents of the likely spoiled brat are having to send him to tutors this summer because his grades are crap. It's costing them a hefty buck, and his problem appears to be nothing more than too much phone and not enough studying.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2018 7:55 pm 
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We are huge baseball fans and have had season tickets to the local minor league team since 2011. As such, we always end up with extra tickets to give away, such as rainouts. If a game is rained out, you can exchange the tickets for another game, but since we have tickets to all the games, we can give these away. I often give them to a friend and her husband, who have a son who is now 5. He's actually a very well-behaved kid because his parents actually do the job they signed on for, and PARENT the kid. And the kid loves baseball. One of our season ticket benefits is a free kids' birthday party, and I found out that I can give it to someone else if we can't use it. What am I going to do with it, have a birthday party for cats? I don't think they would allow that. So I gave it to these friends, and the kid loved it, he got to go on the field and throw out a first pitch. He loves it, and he's a nice kid, so I am happy to provide tickets when I can.

But sometimes, he'll start acting up, and his parents know that it is time to go home, they will not be "those" parents who will let their kid scream while they ignore him. So they will tell me thanks fo the tickets, but it is time for us to head home, and they go.

And this is the point - I can stay at the game as long as I like. There have been times when my husband acts like an overgrown toddler and wants to go home, so I tell him to just go, but I am staying. He's a grown-assed man. He can leave. I can get an Uber or a Lyft to get myself home. But I don't want to have to leave because I have an actual kid throwing a tantrum.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2018 6:07 pm 
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This is a new-to-me two-fer:

First, I was watching picnicking videos (don't judge) and this woman was going through what she packs on a picnic, and she pulled out a homemade first aid kit, and casually mentioned that it contained an epipen:

"Now my son is not allergic to bees, but ever since I became a mom, I feel like I'm the whole world's mom, and I have to be prepared for everything."

Ok...

Then my wife went to a function with some family, and a bunch of kids were there. Two of the people she was with are new moms. They all started talking about a couple of the kids they knew and my wife asked which kid was the one they were talking about.

"He's the one in the black overalls and the green shirt."

Wife said, "Oh, I never really noticed clothes."

And that's when it started, all three of them:

"That's because you're not a mom. When you're a mom, you just get...like a mom kind of responsibility and you feel responsible for every kid and every other mom feels like that so I always notice clothes in case a kid gets kidnapped I can tell you everything every kid in here is wearing and I guarantee every other mom in here can do the same thing it's a sisterhood and you wouldn't understand because you don't have kids!"

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2018 2:53 pm 
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Here's another one:

At dinner last night, there was a family of four, and the kids were two boys, about seven and nine. The older boy looked completely indifferent to everything, just blah.

They all ordered, and when the food came out, mom had this chicken dish with onion straws piled on top. Dad had a steak, the older boy had pasta, and the younger boy had pizza and salad, a kid's portion.

The older boy ate his food, calmly, but the entire time, he kept picking food off everyone else's plates. Onion straws, he was grabbing for those while the server was still lowering the plate! Then some of Dad's fries, then more onions, on and on.

Every time I thought he couldn't get more greedy/lazy (grazy?), he would. At one point, he said, "Michael, I want a bite of your pizza. Give me some." No manners.

The worst was dessert. Mom and Dad got some kind of berries-and-meringue dish, and the boys got dishes of ice cream with a cone stuck on top. Of course, Baby Bird Boy was grasping at the berries before the plate hit the table.

Then the worst bit of laziness I've seen in awhile: he wanted ice cream in his cone, so his mom started spooning it in for him, then she...wait for it...held the fricking cone for him while he slowly licked it. Like a dog. She'd spoon more on, tilt the cone toward him, he'd lean in and lick it until it was gone, then she'd do it again!

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"There is no bad weather, only bad clothes." - Unknown


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2018 5:51 pm 
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Good Lord, CarryOn, you've got some real winners in your area. "Reasons Why We Don't Have Kids", indeed.


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